Hot Love Story
The Venus And Mars Theory
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and
women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole
Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think
with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold
me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs
as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs
as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't
you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you
in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night,
I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to
spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then
went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I
walked around with her while she tried on several different
very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets
get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so
excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction
from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation,
she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial
needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs
as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill
me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I
am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at
least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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